


To Think

by wernythepoohx



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst??, Canon Compliant, Character Study, F/M, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-16
Updated: 2016-12-16
Packaged: 2018-09-08 21:38:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8863057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wernythepoohx/pseuds/wernythepoohx
Summary: As they stumbled into the elevator, Cassian Andor couldn’t help but think.
He couldn't help but reflect on things that had passed.He couldn’t help but acknowledge, somewhat grimly, the things that were currently passing.He couldn’t help but wonder about things that had not yet come to pass.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I saw the midnight screening of Rogue One yesterday and I have been constantly thinking about it since.
> 
> Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated!

As they stumbled into the elevator, Cassian Andor couldn’t help but think. As her right arm reached to wrap around his shoulders, he really couldn’t help it.

* * *

He couldn't help but reflect on things that had passed.

He had joined the Alliance as it began its transition from the loose holdings of a secret rebellion to a tight network of resistance fighters. At this point, the galaxy had fallen into a state of disarray when the Senate fell, and only then was there a primitive form of cohesion and unity against the Empire’s impressive reign of terror.

He reminisced about going up Rebel officer ranks before finally becoming a Captain. He had worked tirelessly for this cause, and thus was rewarded for it. Cassian supposed it was because he had a one track mind: get in, follow orders, obtain information, get out. Complete the mission. So it was no surprise when shortly after, he obtained the role of Intelligence Officer, which was when he became recognised as a veteran of the Alliance. Cassian uncovered many plots to oppress the Rebels, and had managed to foil them while leaving the opposition scratching their heads as to how. He was proud as to what he had achieved.

Cassian was especially pleased with the droid situation: reprogramming the Imperial droid K-2SO had given his side a glimpse into the operations of the Empire while gaining himself a co-pilot for future reconnaissances. A win-win-half a win situation really: he gained a helping hand, the Rebels had more information against the Empire, and the Empire was oblivious.

He was ambitious. He had always known that. But it was only now that he realised just how _isolated_ he was as a result as he pondered these memories. Besides K-2SO, who did he really have? Where were his allies, his companions? They had either been overrun by the Empire, or were left behind as he advanced up the ranks to Captain, and later, Intelligence Officer. Where were his friends? Being in a civil war tended to mean that friendships were just that bit more difficult to foster in the chance of one party losing their life; Cassian forced himself to settle for stilted conversations with acquaintances at mealtimes when they pretended that things would be fine and dandy. Where was his family? They were, after all, the catalyst of his involvement with the Alliance. How could he, or anyone, cope with their parents’ tortured screams and the smell of burnt flesh dealt by blaster guns, and not do anything about it?

Cassian supposed that he was quite alone up until the daughter of Galen was brought into the fray.

* * *

He couldn’t help but acknowledge, somewhat grimly, the things that were currently passing.

The stinging of the right side of his abdomen where the laser from Krennic’s gun had contacted was a nuisance. Every step he took, he could hear the tissue and sinews screaming for relief. Climbing up the inner structure of Scarif’s database was a struggle but he had to get out. He just had to, for he knew that Krennic had seen Jyn reach the top of the tower and had followed suit. _For the mission,_ he reminded himself, gritting his teeth through the pain. The throbs of muscle aches in his side that were synced with his heartbeat were, ironically, not passing or subsiding.

He heard a low, continuous sound droning on as the elevator descended. It seemed to be getting louder, until it was a rumbling he could feel. The slow crescendo of the noise built up from something he had initially dismissed as part of his imagination to something that he almost dreaded.

But his most prominent thought was of Jyn’s arm around him. How, as his own snaked around her shoulders, their bodies pressed and fit together. It was here that Cassian gave her the most deserved title of _friend._ She was as defined, the noun; a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection. He admitted to himself that between her introduction at the Rebel base and now, he had grown fond of her. Her ‘reckless and volatile’ behaviour which had once rankled him now caused a light stirring in his chest. He understood her, and why she did some of the things she did. As the elevator continued to descend, Cassian briefly wondered what came after _friend._ Perhaps, during her time with the Rebel Alliance, she had come to mean more than her designated title. Besides, Cassian was somewhat glad that his thoughts had a little more variation than just the mission.

* * *

He couldn’t help but wonder about things that had not yet come to pass. These were harder to compartmentalise and distinguish between what he wanted to happen, and what was probably going to happen.

What would happen when they stepped out of the elevator? Krennic certainly would not be waiting for them, as Cassian knew he lay at the top of the comms towers where he had been shot. Perhaps Bodhi would be there, rushing them back onto the ship. Perhaps they would be surrounded by Stormtroopers. Perhaps Chirrut and Baze would be there to bring them down. He knew K-2SO would tell him the probabilities of those events occurring, yet Cassian could not help but think just how much more likely the second scenario was to pan out.

Would the transmissions really be enough? After all, the fate of the civil war rested in his and Jyn’s hands. Could they truly have enough leverage for the Rebellion to bring down the monstrosity of the Death Star? He hoped they did, because he liked to believe that resistance was certainly not futile. He also thought about Jyn and what would happen to her. If they made it out safely, would she remain with the Alliance? He wanted her to, but as to why he felt that way, he wasn’t entirely sure. After all, he had never been privy to fondness when he looked at a person other than family before.

* * *

The door slid open, revealing the expanse of beach. As the two stumbled out, he looked to his left. There were cargo crates, with bodies strewn all over like ragdolls. Numbly, Cassian registered the high ratio of Rebel corpses to those of the Stormtroopers. Then he looked to the right. The plentiful Imperial complexes he saw when they first arrived on Scarif were reduced to mounds of rubble and mangled steel rods, decorated with the residual marks of laser guns and cannons.

This view to his right was in the distance. A lot closer to him was the dust-speckled hair of Jyn, many strands of which were fighting against the restrictions of her hairband. A rebellion, alright. As it turned out, Cassian quite liked this view, where his eyes skimmed the top of her head (and where he could easily lean over to nestle his face in); where, if he looked a little lower, he could see green eyes which in retrospect had captivated him since he first saw them filled with defiance and determination. Her mouth was parted slightly, taking in unsteady breaths. He paused at this sight, half mesmerised, and half because he didn’t want to look any lower, for fear of seeing her own injuries and his charred yet raw abdominal flesh.

She looked out to sea, and began to shake. Just the tiniest of movements, yet he could sense it due to their close proximity. He followed her gaze, and saw the most horrendous, yet beautiful sight. A great sphere blotted the horizon as the blast radius gathered size and momentum towards the beach.

They both collapsed to the sand, the coarse particles providing a weak form of support as it pooled around their knees. There would be no escaping this. He knew it. He reached out for her hand, and circled his blistered fingers around her palm, her less calloused ones doing the same to him. Oh how he wished the glove she had over her left hand was absent, so he could feel a human touch one last time.

“Your father would be proud,” he said to her.

Her green irises were glazed with tears. Cassian leaned over the short distance to kiss her left temple. _**I** am proud of you_. He brought her to him, his right arm around her back while his left hand cradled her head. Jyn wrapped her smaller limbs around his frame, causing both to shake minutely.

He had wanted to turn them so she was facing away from the impending explosion, but he found himself being the one with the view of the beach and all its carnage. Cassian supposed that this was better because she had the nicer view; he saw smoke and bodies while she saw the light.

Soon enough, he did too.


End file.
